The mother and son relationship can be tough terrain to navigate. Valentine’s with my sons gives us all a break from that tough terrain. Boys. They can be so sweet and so foreign all at the same time. We want to teach them about happy, healthy, and respectful relationships. While they’re little, we want to love and snuggle them – but without smothering them. It can be a fine line to walk. So what do you do with your boys on Valentine’s day? Smother them with motherly affection? Or shake it off?
This post may contain distributor and affiliate links.
To find out more about my distributor and affiliate links, read here.
Related Post You May Also Like: 7 Things I Didn’t Expect Before Mothering Boys
Valentine’s With My Sons – The Basket
Each year, I put together a beautiful Valentine’s basket for each of my sons. The baskets overflow with my love; fun things to eat; lots to play with; and a special gift of my time. I try hard to put it together beautifully (think Pinterest mom…) so that the boys each have something special and beautiful to appreciate.
Despite the fact that I put a lot of thought and effort into making it beautiful, I’ll confess that I’m the original Valentine’s Day Grinch! I think Valentine’s Day is sort of ridiculous! But that’s just me…I digress. But, as I admit, I play along. And there’s one really important reason why it’s important to be your son’s Valentine – whatever that means for you…
Navigating the Mother / Son Relationship
Sons need and desire close relationships with their mothers. But there’s no need for you to worry that your son will be a “mama’s boy.”
The mama’s boy perception has been around for generations. It describes a young man who has been overly ‘softened’ by his mother’s doting attention — but it is true? “One misconception is that being close to your son causes him to be a mama’s boy, weak or dependent,” says Cheri Fuller, an award-winning author of 44 books including What a Son Needs from His Mom. “The reality is that a mother’s love doesn’t make her son more dependent or timid; it actually makes him stronger and more independent.” So mothers shouldn’t hold back when it comes to showing their sons love, especially in a society in which parent-child relationships are often strained. (source)
Sons learn how to be in a romantic relationship, what to expect from a future partner, and how to respect women from watching you! So you need to show your sons (and daughters!) what you want them to emulate in your adult relationship as well.
Making Sons Feel Special on Valentine’s Day
But little boys love to feel special – especially in their mama’s eyes. Being their “Valentine” is a perfectly sweet and fun way to show them how special they are to you. And there are so many ways that you can do this. As I mentioned, I prepare a basket with silly toys, candy treats, and a gift of my time.
It’s really important that the basket also always includes some sort of special gift of time with me. Maybe a “gift certificate” or a “coupon book.” The time with me is always their favorite – although the candy probably runs a close second 🙂
Valentine’s day with my sons means that each Valentine gets his own special time with just me. When you have more than one child it’s really important to give each his own time. So each will get their own Valentine’s date. As will The P 🙂 I hope the time with me is what they’ll all remember the most!
Related Post You May Also Like: One Thing Makes December Traditions Memorable
And not only do little boys love to feel special, I confess that I do love Valentine’s Day for giving me an excuse to shower them with extra snuggles and many extra “I love you-s!” You can do whatever you want to show your son that you feel he’s special: take him out to lunch, to a special park or indoor play facility, check out Pinterest and make a card for him, do an art project with him, make something special for dinner, put a special note in his lunchbox – the possibilities are endless! It doesn’t have to cost anything at all – a gift of time with your son and something special that show them that it was important to you to create something beautiful for them.
You Can Write a Valentine to Your Son
I see so many beautifully written love letters from mothers to sons – and I feel like I could copy and give each one of them to my boys. But I’m horrible at writing them! I’m great at telling them how I feel – but somehow when I try to distill those emotions into words – the words seem woefully inadequate!
One of the blogs that I love to read is A Design So Vast. Lindsey Mead is a mother to two – a boy and a girl. She writes so beautifully and deeply from her heart about her wonder in the face of these amazing humans that she’s privileged to call her children. Her son Whit has recently turned 10 and she writes her annual beautiful letter to him. (I tried this once, I was horrible at it. I should try again…) Lindsey has also written beautifully of the 10 Things I Want My 10 Year Old Son to Know. Her entire blog feels like a beautifully written, gratitude filled love letter to life itself!
In addition to giving your time, here are some great ideas of goodies to include in a gift basket if that sounds like a good fit for you! (I always make sure that the basket itself is something they can use later as well.)
Don’t neglect your significant other this Valentine’s Day – but moms make your sons feel like they are your special Valentine too. It’s worth it!